Making Things Right::Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye

A few weeks ago I started blogging about a "Four G" model for relational conflict resolution that we're working to incorporate into our church.

Step One: Glorify God

Step Two: Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye

Because hurt people tend to hurt people, conflict escalates as people attack one another.  Here are four stages of conflict development.

• Tension Development: Someone in the relationship feels threatened
• Role Dilemma: We get defensive and posture ourselves accordingly
• Injustice Collecting: We start making a list of things the other person has done
• Confrontation: If confrontation doesn't happen until now, it's almost always ugly

The goal of getting the log out of your own eye is to confront the tension in a relationship before injustice collecting kicks in.  So instead of making a list of things the other person has done, we humbly take ownership for our own contribution to the conflict.

Two spiritual disciplines are key during this step of conflict resolution. 

Repentance
Confession

These are both counter-cultural disciplines because they transform the tongue from a weapon of destruction into an instrument of reconciliation.