I Still Do

Sunday was my 100th day of marriage.  Incredible how fast three months can pass!

Last night I had a dream that I was back at my wedding again.  Like most dreams, a good chunk of it was incoherent.  I didn't recognize the place.  I didn't even recognize a few people in the bridal party.  But I recognized Leah, because when I woke up I felt just like I felt when I first watched her walk down the aisle 102 days ago. 

Absolutely grateful.

Then I turned to my left to make sure that she was still lying next to me and that I hadn't dreamed the entire past three months:)  And sure enough, Sleeping Beauty was there!

The dream got me thinking about the nature of commitment.  I didn't realize on January 19 that in 100 days I would feel even more confident about making a life-time commitment to Leah.  But I do.  The confidence I felt in my covenant decision three months ago was real.  But today it's even more real.

Commitment is difficult for many people today.  Do I commit to my girlfriend?  My boyfriend?  My church?  There are obviosly several factors that go into such big decisions.  But when it's the right person, or the right church, I wonder why we hesitate.

One of the most common questions I get from spiritual seekers whenever an opportunity for water baptism comes up in our church has to do with the weight of commitment.  How do I know if I can commit the rest of my life to Christ?  I still have so many imperfections?  What if I fail Him?

But here's the strange thing: The feeling of confidence that we think we're missing, that we're waiting for, it often grows after we make the commitment. 

I remember hearing Rick Warren say that we don't grow to commitments, we grow through commitments.  What if growth doesn't always precede commitment?  What if the courage to commit actually produces conviction that we wouldn't stumble upon simply by waiting?

I made a commitment to Leah 100 days ago when I looked into her eyes and said, "I do."  Now, after three months of laughter, conversation, and tears, I still do. 

And much to my surprise, I think I mean it even more.